In case you aren’t clear, a “rebound” relationship is one where your ex is dating some random person strictly to try to get over you. Rebound relationships can be useful for some people, because they keep them from having to confront the pain of the breakup. Almost never a long-term thing, rebound relationships are what help people move on from something more substantial.
And therein lies the key to getting your ex back. She’s in a rebound relationship to get over losing you.
It does not matter why you are apart. It doesn’t matter whose fault it is. It doesn’t really even matter who actually ended things. What matters is that you had a real love, and you want it back.
Just about any relationship that is founded on true love can be rekindled.
Jilted lovers often take up rebound relationships with people who are the polar opposite of the person with whom they’ve just broken up. That can work in your favor for two reasons:
1. Your ex’s thoughts are probably still focused on you, even when they’re with the new person.
2. It gives you an opportunity to see what else your ex might be looking for.
If your ex is indeed rebounding with your polar opposite, it probably means that there was something missing for them in your relationship. This is a good opportunity to take some time to look within, and improve yourself.
It may seem counter-intuitive, but don’t make any plays right now. Let the rebound thing run its course. Trust that it won’t last long, because they never do, and you are still the primary focus of your ex’s thoughts.
Avoid the urge to start crawling back right away. You know your ex misses the good things that existed in your relationship. When he or she is ready to consider taking you back, be as kind as can be. Welcome her back graciously. Be a new and improved person, but try not to be the one doing all the chasing.
Here, then, are some specific things to keep in mind when you are trying to win your ex back from a rebound relationship:
1. Don’t go overboard in trying to persuade her that you are the love of her life. She thought this once, and she probably still does.
2. Don’t over-apologize. If you’ve done something wrong, look her in the eye and tell her exactly how sorry you are. But try to move on as quickly from that stage as you can. She still knows why she loves you.
3. Don’t over-promise a lot of major changes in your personality. Remember you are still the person she fell in love with.
4. Don’t shy away from taking some of the blame for what went wrong. Your ex will come appreciate that you aren’t putting her into a defensive position.
5. Never, ever get into a spot where you are begging your ex to take you back, or giving her an ultimatum too soon. Small steps can work wonders.
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